i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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