Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize