We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize