At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
