then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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