i barfeds in our rink
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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