Kiss
Puke
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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