My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
