can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
