I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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