I don't think brook has ever known best
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
