She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I enjoy the company of your penis
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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