i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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