oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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