I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
