Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
