i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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