a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I believe in your delicious
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
