Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
