New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the day after is always just damage control
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
