What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
