it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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