dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize