i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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