I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize