Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My ATM looks so different sober.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
