im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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