He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
