Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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