His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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