I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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