Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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