I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
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