Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
