Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
