I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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