3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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