But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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