Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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