Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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