The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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