Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
