Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we're making bets on your personal life
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
