I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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