i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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