He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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