his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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