Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize