I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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