I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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