At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
