Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
