The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize