i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
