Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
