so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
