She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
