Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
