All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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