so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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