he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We have started to decorate penises.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
