I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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