At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
